Being as Oriental as I could , there are some things that I have to come to terms with, like a possible countless rounds of 'YUM SENG!' at my wedding reception and busting my butt just to die, yeah like literally.
As I always say, don't you dare to die before you can afford your own hole.
Dying the Chinese way requires extensive planning and expensive execution, so precise instructions are crucial since its a once in a 'lifetime' deal, as for me, I've written this 'will'.
'Bungalow' vs 'Condo'
I don't know bout u, but I would prefer 'bungalow' units any time, SPACE babeh SPACE! Then again, if my aspirations of not getting hitch this lifetime get materialized, might consider signing up for a 'condo' unit by the time I hit 78, god willing. Hey at least they have maintenance services for 'condos' when I have no descendent to come forth every Ching Ming (Chinese All Souls Day).
Call in the DJ
Can foresee in the not-too-far future that the 'housing area' is gonna go corporate, think Nirvana Memorial Park is doing a good job in making death look so appealing. Corporate packages nowadays include the daily dose of 'Nam Mo Amitabha' , might not sound too appealing to the living, maybe is would 'sound' better when I'm dead...hmm... ok. Then again, religious recitals are best to build up the mood for Ching Ming and welcome wagon for new 'neighbours'. Don't think its gonna sound that appetizing when you listen all day innit? I dunno. But I envision that the future might bring changes, maybe can sign a contract with the management with special requests... like.. maybe..maybe gimme a lil' Lady Gaga....maybe 2 hours a day? Not bad wat, if the whole neighbourhood is from the same era, need something to reminiscent the past after passing on.
Offerings
F&B
If no descendant, then anything goes la!
The following is intended for descendant of mine (if any)
Dear Descendant:
If you are reading this, please take note, don't offer me flowers k? I can't eat them, would prefer Mc D latest menu complete set anytime. AND no seafood please. Come to think of it, maybe I'll make a list of food I might want as offerings to make your job easier, but when in doubt, go Mc D.
Hmm what else? Ahhhhh! Paper offerings! Again, if no descendant, anything goes, but if got some poor fella who have to serve my wimps once a year, please don't burn too many cars and airplanes k? One is enough, house also no need too many, go quality than quantity. Instead, would appreciate if you can burn a Petrol Station and Airport (I promise to give u my long term blessings k?).
Clothes! Please please please don't burn cheong sam-esque clothes, I want JEANS JEANS JEANS, some cute t'shirt (I'm assuming maybe I can shape shift back to 21 Y.O looks) but do standby some matured corporate wear, HEY ah mah also need to look pro if wanna man the petrol station / airport.
(to be continued......)
(-_-")
ReplyDelete