Pain

Ever felt so much pain in your heart that you just break down and cry non-stop?

The real PAIN is when its so intense, you cannot squeeze a tear out.

The Will - Part 2

This part is only if I ever got married.

Dear Hubby,

I know I'm no longer with you, if something happened to me while we are still pre-menopousal, you can consider getting married again, BUT, please adhere by the following:

1. She dies NOT get to touch ANY of my teddy bears, bury them with me if u must.

2. She shalt not sleep on my pillow, bury it with me too...oh and my blanky

3. My money is MY MONEY! If in doubt, return the kah-ching to the my family clan, Hey you decided to get married again, my money is not to sponsor another woman.

other than that, I'm good. K? and oh!! If got kiddos, make sure they know who REAL mommy is k? muah!!

oh ya oh ya...burn more shoes, and NOT the traditional ones!! I want heels heels heels, and some wedges, Nike Air is good to go too, but they don't go with all the dresses u know.

Cosmetics!!!!!! NEVER FORGET!!!!!!

Books! The essential. Female mags too.....

Am I asking for too much dear?

haha, think you should have gotten used to it from the moment u decided to marry me, right?

+++

* think no bloke is gonna get conned into marrying me after they see this piece haha*

The Will - Part One

Being as Oriental as I could , there are some things that I have to come to terms with, like a possible countless rounds of 'YUM SENG!' at my wedding reception and busting my butt just to die, yeah like literally.

As I always say, don't you dare to die before you can afford your own hole.

Dying the Chinese way requires extensive planning and expensive execution, so precise instructions are crucial since its a once in a 'lifetime' deal, as for me, I've written this 'will'.

'Bungalow' vs 'Condo'

I don't know bout u, but I would prefer 'bungalow' units any time, SPACE babeh SPACE! Then again, if my aspirations of not getting hitch this lifetime get materialized, might consider signing up for a 'condo' unit by the time I hit 78, god willing. Hey at least they have maintenance services for 'condos' when I have no descendent to come forth every Ching Ming (Chinese All Souls Day).

Call in the DJ

Can foresee in the not-too-far future that the 'housing area' is gonna go corporate, think Nirvana Memorial Park is doing a good job in making death look so appealing. Corporate packages nowadays include the daily dose of 'Nam Mo Amitabha' , might not sound too appealing to the living, maybe is would 'sound' better when I'm dead...hmm... ok. Then again, religious recitals are best to build up the mood for Ching Ming and welcome wagon for new 'neighbours'. Don't think its gonna sound that appetizing when you listen all day innit? I dunno. But I envision that the future might bring changes, maybe can sign a contract with the management with special requests... like.. maybe..maybe gimme a lil' Lady Gaga....maybe 2 hours a day? Not bad wat, if the whole neighbourhood is from the same era, need something to reminiscent the past after passing on.

Offerings

F&B

If no descendant, then anything goes la!

The following is intended for descendant of mine (if any)

Dear Descendant:

If you are reading this, please take note, don't offer me flowers k? I can't eat them, would prefer Mc D latest menu complete set anytime. AND no seafood please. Come to think of it, maybe I'll make a list of food I might want as offerings to make your job easier, but when in doubt, go Mc D.

Hmm what else? Ahhhhh! Paper offerings! Again, if no descendant, anything goes, but if got some poor fella who have to serve my wimps once a year, please don't burn too many cars and airplanes k? One is enough, house also no need too many, go quality than quantity. Instead, would appreciate if you can burn a Petrol Station and Airport (I promise to give u my long term blessings k?).

Clothes! Please please please don't burn cheong sam-esque clothes, I want JEANS JEANS JEANS, some cute t'shirt (I'm assuming maybe I can shape shift back to 21 Y.O looks) but do standby some matured corporate wear, HEY ah mah also need to look pro if wanna man the petrol station / airport.

(to be continued......)